"Pervert" is a negative term the majority of the time. Simply, it refers to a person that is different, sexually, or who likes to do non-mainstream sexual things. Sometimes these things are harmful, and sometimes they aren't. The word itself doesn't imply either of those, though people usually assume that a perverted person likes harmful things.
A person that likes to look up women's skirts without their permission or knowledge is a pervert. As is a person that likes to be tied up and whipped. As is a person that likes to fantasize about raping someone. As if a person that likes to look at drawn pictures of sex. All such people are perverts, generally speaking, but their interests are different, and the people themselves are probably quite different from one another. But because their sexual fetish isn't mainstream, because it strays from what is supposedly normal, these people may be seen as odd or disgusting by "normal" people.
The fact of the matter is, very few people enjoy only the most general form of sex. Even the couple that always has sex in the missionary position may feel a thrill at the idea of role-playing, pretending that one person is a suspect and the other is a cop, trying to get information. Or a quiet couple living in the suburbs may like to incorporate food, putting things on one's body and letting the other lick or eat it off. Or the nice gentleman down the street may want to put a woman's toes in his mouth and be stepped on by her, and the woman next to him may want to wear a strap-on and fuck a man in the ass. Fetishism isn't something you can discern by looking at a person. Sometimes, some things may be obvious, but you just cannot look at a person and know if they do or do not like to watch porn with maids or incest or peeing or anal sex or any of the many, many fetishes that exist out there. And here's an important note - fetishes exist because people like them. Whether you consider a specific fetish to be good or bad, it is a fact that some people, perhaps a great deal of them, like that fetish and get something from it. I think that scat (involving feces) is incredibly gross, but I don't think that the people who do like it are gross. That is an essential distinction, because often, people cannot help their fetishes. There may be an incident or series of incidents in the past that may explain someone's foot fetish, but it's more likely that it's just random. I have in the past, many times, compared this to liking chocolate ice cream over vanilla, or vice versa. If a person can't explain why one flavor of ice cream is intrinsically better or worse than another, then they also can't explain why one fetish is intrinsically better or worse than another.
Time to reveal some personal details. First off, I am very odd, sexually. I have heard that this is a common thing for people with Asperger's, but I've never talked to any other Aspies about it, so I'm not sure. Thus, I am not going to use it as an explanation for some of the stuff I like. I have Asperger's, and I'm odd when it comes to sex. Those two may be related, but they may not be.
The best way to explain how I am odd is to tell what I like and how or why I like it, or what appeals to me. Before that, let me state that I am, in most aspects of my life, like the ocean, with waves coming and going. I'll be super-interested in one thing for a month or two, and then I'll not care at all anymore and be super-interested in something else. Regarding sexuality, this means that my fetishes cycle. They don't come in any sort of order, but some days, I'll feel like watching or thinking about a certain activity, and a week later, that activity won't do anything for me, or it may even turn me off completely. Yesterday, for example, I searched for handjob videos, because that was what I felt like watching. I didn't try to find anything else. I just zeroed in and watched girls giving handjobs. Now, that has happened before, but the last time it did was months ago. The day before yesterday, I couldn't have stood to watch a handjob video. It would have bored the fuck out of me. (Unintentional pun, totally intended!)
So, what do I like? The biggest thing I like is hentai, or drawn porn, specifically Japanese drawn porn. (And despite what you may think, there is a lot of it.) In fact, there are two worlds for me, real life and hentai. Some days I only want hentai, and other days I only want real life porn. It's a common thing, actually, for hentai fans. Really, I've heard more than a few fans say that they don't even watch real life porn. One of the major benefits of hentai is that, as with any sort of animation, anything can happen. No expensive special effects needed, no shitty costumes or props, and there are some things that simply cannot be done without animation. Internal ejaculation is the first to come to mind. That can be done in live-action, but all you'll see if the cum leaking out afterwards. In hentai, you see the sperm shooting into the woman's body. If that's your thing, hentai is about the only way you're going to be able to see it.
There are a lot of fetishes in hentai. This is a list of tags from my favorite hentai site. There are forty-three tags, and most of them are different fetishes. (Clicking on a tag will take you to a page that explains what the tag is. The page for "chikan" will tell you that it's public molestation, and the page for "trap" will tell you that it's feminine-looking men dressed as women.) Some of the fetishes exist in live-action porn, too, of course. "Futanari," often shorted to "futa," is hermaphroditic women, and there is a market for hermaphrodites in live-action porn, though since they are hard to come by, usually hermaphroditic porn is faked. (There are some Japanese videos where a girl will magically wake up one day with a penis, which she will use to have sex with many other women. This is worth mentioning because the penis is laughably fake. It couldn't fool anyone. It looks obviously fake, and it is even attached to the underwear the woman is wearing, so she never takes off her panties. But hey, it works!)
I love hentai. I love anime, too, so this is no surprise. Hentai has been referred to as "anime after-dark." Specifically, I like futa, tentacle sex (exactly what it sounds like; some monster uses tentacles to have sex with a woman or women), rape (90% of hentai, and live-action Japanese porn, incorporates this, so it's actually hard to like hentai without liking it at least a little), schoolgirls (the uniforms, mostly, probably because of the skirts), traps/yaoi/yuri (traps are explained above, yaoi is male homosexuality, and yuri is female homosexuality; they're kind of related), and lolicon, often shortened to "loli." That last one takes some explaining, and you may not that it's not on Fakku, linked above.
"Lolicon" refers to an attraction to, or porn involving, minors. (Semantics: "lolican" is underage girls, while "shotacon" is underage boys. I'm not very interested in shota though, and it usually doesn't carry the incredibly negative connotation that loli does, so it's not that important.) It is a reference to age, being under eighteen, but it can also be a reference to physical appearance. Looks can be deceiving, after all, especially with the world of animation, where a girl can look 10 years old but be said to be 30. (Yes, that has happened before, and will happen again, and not even in hentai.) A drawing of a flat-chested girl with a nubile body may be considered loli, or if it is known that she is intended to be at least 18 years old, she may not be. She may instead be "pettanko," or flat-chested. Lolicon can be a very confusing thing, sometimes purposefully so, due to legal concerns.
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| Izumi Konata, from Lucky Star. 18 years old |
Many of the things I like in hentai, I also like in live-action porn. I like lesbians, rape and forced sex, hermaphrodites and transsexuals, cross-dressing men that are effeminate, and young girls. I'm not going to define "young" because it's essentially pointless to do so. One 14-year-old girl will look 12-years-old, while another looks 16-years-old. It's impossible to pinpoint age, and since people age differently, at different rates and with different characteristics emerging at different times, it's meaningless to say that I only like girls older than 12 or younger than 16. It is a pointless distinction.
Body type is what is important. And here's a very important factoid - 18-year-old girls can have the body type I like. Hell, girls in their 20s can. I like slender, petite bodies and innocent-looking or cute faces. I'm not going to lie and say that there isn't a thrill when the girl is probably under eighteen, but that's really not what it's all about. However, it is a complicated issue . . .
I mentioned role-playing way back at the start. One form of role-playing that apparently isn't too uncommon is where the woman pretends to be a young girl, to turn the other person on, or to turn both people on. There are a multitude of porn sites that feature only 18-year-olds and that boast that their stars are "barely legal." In a lot of countries, the legal age for sex is sixteen. What does all this mean? Quite frankly, that's for you to decide. But it's clear to me that biologically speaking, women don't start becoming attractive once they turn eighteen and men don't start being attracted to them only when they're legal.
But that feels like it's neither here nor there. It feels like I am somehow trying to defend myself, and perhaps I am, so I'll add some info to show that I'm not the average person, and I'll try to say things clearly and matter-of-factly.
I can get excited looking at a 14-year-old girl. Being honest, if she's developed, I can get excited looking at a 12-year-old girl. Or, depending on how she's developed, I can feel nothing looking at a 16-year-old. Like I said, the body type is most important. I can imagine doing things to a young girl, and I can have an orgasm while looking at a picture of a young girl or thinking about one.
I don't think that's a crime. I don't really like that about myself, but I didn't make a decision to be that way, and I can't change what turns me on.
I also don't think it means anything. "How the hell can it not mean anything?" you might say.Well, I like to see animated girls getting fucking by tentacles; that doesn't mean I want to see a real octopus fuck a woman. I like to watch rape videos; that certainly does not mean that I like rape or want anyone to get raped. (Seriously, all rapists should die. If I could press a button that would kill all rapists, I'd press it in a heartbeat, and no matter who died as a result, all I'd think is, "They shouldn't have raped anybody.") I like to watch guys with breast implants jerk off and cum in their own faces; that doesn't mean that I want to do anything with another guy, transsexual or no.
Simply put, an idea that turns me on may not be something that I want to do or will ever act upon. I sometimes fantasize about getting fucked in the ass by a guy, but I hate guys and cannot seriously see myself doing anything with another guy. On the other hand, I can see myself getting fucked by a woman with a strap-on. I like the way young girls look, but the idea of doing anything with a real underage girl makes me sick to my stomach, and I hate anyone that molests kids even more than I hate rapists. Part of the reason I hate rapists is because I've known, and still know, people that were raped. I saw what it did to them and can see how it still affects them. I've also known girls that were molested, and though I didn't know them beforehand, I can definitely see that it affected them. It changed them from the get-go, perhaps kept them from ever being well-adjusted people, who could easily laugh and smile and be happy. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even the worst person in the world. (Though, in all honestly, I could wish for several people to be disemboweled while still alive, without any problem.)
I am saying all this to reveal more about myself, to let people know that their fetishes don't keep them from being nice, caring individuals. All the nice things said about me, I wonder if the people that said them would have still said them if they knew the stuff that went through my head. I care about people, I don't like seeing others in physical or emotional pain, I would gladly sacrifice myself for the sake of another person (depending on the circumstances, of course, but I'd be more willing to give more of myself than most people), and I've imagined fucking a young girl. I've also imagined what it was like when my first love got raped, as well as the time she had (perhaps) consensual sex with two guys. I've imagined ripping open someone's throat with my bare hands and stabbing someone half a hundred times. I've imagined sticking a knife in my chest and slitting my wrists. I'm not proud of any of those things. I don't like my mind, and I never have. But that's because my mind is something I cannot control. What I am proud of is that I've never beaten up anyone (I'm proud that I've never beaten up someone that didn't deserve; I'd be more proud if I'd kicked a lowlife's ass), that I've never acted on the irrational and absurd thoughts in my head, that I've never plotted something devious and then acted upon it. I'm proud that I've been there for the important people in my life, that people can count on me because I've shown that I am a respectable person, that people like me and love me, even knowing the terrible shit about me, because there is enough good to offset the bad. I don't like who I am, but I like the person I'm trying to be.
Your actions matter most. If you think about murdering people, does that make you a murderer? If you think about robbing a bank, does that make you a thief? Is the person that has their partner pretend to be a little girl a pedophile? Is the person that sleeps with the man that wants to be treated like a baby a sex offender? Are these people bad? Do they deserve to be hated? No. They're just people with thoughts. Their thoughts may be bad, but who doesn't have bad thoughts? How you act is what really counts.
Maybe I'm just trying to defend myself. But I still think that I'm a better person than most of the people I've met in my life. I'd make a better parent than a lot of people, a better teacher, a better lover, a better friend. I may think that I'm a worthless stain, but on the outside, I'm a great person, and I'm always going to strive to be one. I couldn't live any other way.
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